Why?
by Danni Kuran
Summary: In which Kyoya wishes he had done things differently with Haruhi during high school.


**Hello everybody! **

**I was eating schnitzel and this sorta just happened - so please enjoy it! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran.**

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_Why._ He thought to himself. _Why was I so cold to her?_

Kyoya sat in his room, his desk covered in piles of important company paperwork that he had meant to spend the day working on until he heard the announcement. Haruhi Fujioka, the ex-scholarship student at Ouran and also ex-member of the host club was going to marry his best friend.

It was clear from the beginning that Tamaki would develop feelings for Haruhi, and it was clear that one day he would wake up and take action; but Kyoya had never imagined that those feelings would be reciprocated. He'd always imagined that Tamaki would throw an over-the-top confession in her face and be bluntly turned down; but to receive a wedding invitation in the mail was quite the rude awakening.

Kyoya clutched his pen tightly in his hand until his slender fingers ached, _why do I even care so much?_

It was true that a handful of the host club members had fallen for Haruhi at one point or another over time, but those feelings had always faded away – save for Tamaki of course. So why was Kyoya still being haunted by her existence?

She was of no merit to him. She was a commoner. But she was also smart, if she worked hard enough she could be smart enough to be an Ootori – _no, why am I thinking like that?_

Kyoya never loved Haruhi, unlike the other members he had never gone through a rough phase of feelings for the girl. He had never glanced at her twice, save for the time when she wore that beautiful dress to Tamaki's birthday ball last month. She looked beautiful, much more mature than the last time he had seen her.

After graduating, they all studied abroad. When they returned, Kyoya hadn't made much of an effort to stay in contact – thus his current predicament was born. _Why didn't I keep in close contact with her while I still had the chance?_

He remembered the ball all too clearly. She stood there in a lovely gown, most likely provided to her by the twins. It fit her perfectly. It was a very pale pink, and the wrap she wore with it shimmered in the light. He remembered wondering how the twins managed to convince her to wear it, if they hadn't he was sure she would have come in a cheap, cotton dress. He chuckled to himself.

He remembered how she danced gracefully with Tamaki, whose cheeks were dusted red with a blush. He recalled her glancing at him from across the room as he spoke to a potential marriage candidate of his own, only for a second did their eyes meet and in that second he became miserable.

He refused the marriage candidate.

In that moment he had wanted to march right over to her and whisk her away from Tamaki, he wanted to propose to her before Tamaki could – but he knew better than that. By then, Haruhi had clearly developed some feelings for his friend, and even if she hadn't felt that way she still would have refused him if he'd asked. He was always so cold and aloof when it came to her.

He would throw her passive-aggressive threats, he blackmailed her using her guest quota and worst of all he never apologised; and now it was too late. He vaguely remembered a time when he was doing the accounting for the club when he noticed that Haruhi's quota was almost complete, and he suddenly found himself placing expensive valuables around the club room that the twins could trick Haruhi into breaking only so that she would be forced to stay that little bit longer to pay off her ever growing debt. Now he knew that was where it really began.

He regretted not getting into the carriage with the twins and Haruhi, her regretted not confessing his feelings there and then as Tamaki travelled further and further away from her with Éclair, but even then he was sure she would have refused him – but at least she would know.

Kyoya flinched at the thoughts and passing memories that flicked through his head. He was wrong, he had fallen in love with the girl a long time ago.

The thing Kyoya regretted most was not telling her how he felt. He knew she would never have mocked his feelings. She may have turned him down, but she would have given him closure – the closure that his tortured self so desperately longed for.

_I can't tell her now._

If he told her now, she may feel conflicted or upset. She'll get confused. She'll question herself and Tamaki, but that was what he wanted, wasn't it? That quick flash of doubt where he could swoop in and take her away, but he couldn't do it.

_I don't want to manipulate her anymore. I don't want to do that ever again._

Kyoya got up from his desk and threw himself onto his bed.

_Haruhi isn't meritless. She always saw right through me. _

He flinched as his phone vibrated on his bedside table. He picked it up in an instant, praying to whatever was out there that it was Haruhi. It wasn't.

It was a message from Tamaki instead, asking Kyoya to be the best man at the wedding. He scoffed. It's not like he could refuse Suoh, his father would have his head if he tainted the relationship between the families.

But now he had to stand right next to Tamaki and watch him kiss and exchange vows with the only woman he has ever wanted for himself, the one woman he has ever deemed worthy of the Ootori name.

_But that'll never happen._

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**I always wondered what would've gone through Kyoya's mind if he fell for Haruhi in highschool but never did anything about it. At first I thought nothing of it, but we all know that Kyoya is much deeper than that. **

**Please let me know what you thought! xx**


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